I'm sorry for not writing here as often as I should. If you'll agree to read again, I'd be happy to write once again in my blog; it's been almost a year but I really enjoy sharing thoughts here.
It's been an eventful year - I've come so far so fast, my head is spinning a bit! My AmeriCorps service was a great experience and allowed me to live the life of a program manager in an incredible and impactful Habitat for Humanity affiliate. My work with the youth bureau has so far shown me the powerful motivation of today's youth and their parents. It's also shown me that great patience is required for working with public school administrators to implement new programs, even if their hearts and minds seem to be devoted to change.
Often, when I come to a junction like this in my life I think back to the very first tarot card reading I ever received. Sitting at the coffee table in her modest trailer home, my reader used a spread of ten cards called the Celtic Cross. The last card represented the outcome if I chose to continue on my path. My last card was the World card, which at the time thrilled both me and my reader. According to one website, the World "signifies completion, achievement and fulfillment. All of your efforts are finally paying off and you have reached the end of a journey or have completed a major life cycle." The card depicts a woman floating in air with a laurel crown upon her head. The woman has accomplished something and is completely balanced and free, surrounded by the feelings of victory and new possibilities. At the time of the reading I had just turned 19, and it was shortly before the reading that I decided to aim for the Peace Corps after graduating college. I was so happy to see that card and hear its description; it let a younger, often self-defeating me know that I was on the right path. The World card has followed me in subsequent readings, and has always been a welcome sight.
Now, I am finishing my year of AmeriCorps VISTA service and simultaneously beginning new paths. In August, I will begin my scholarly exploration of social work at Fordham University. I am completely elated when I think of starting school again! In my undergraduate study at CUNY John Jay, I never truly applied myself. Although I earned many A's, I was too often happy scraping by with a B or worse. I'm not sure if becoming a social worker will be my end result, but I cannot deny my deep-rooted identification with the mission social workers devote their lives to. So, we will see!
Even more groundbreaking, in September my fiance and I are expecting our first child! She reached her 30th gestational week this past Thursday and we are quickly preparing ourselves, our apartment and our life schedules to accept our new family member into our hearts and home. The path to birth has been long, full of books, classes, discussion and of course, purchases. Even with all the prep work, we still smile at each other every day imagining the day we get to hold and welcome our new little boy or girl into the world (we are keeping it a surprise).
Things end and begin again. I live through one experience, learn from it and live again through a completely different one, taking the lessons with me every time. I truly don't think I'll ever stop beginning, and I love it this way. Like the wise poet Rainer Maria Rilke once said, "And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. Resolve to be always beginning—to be a beginner!"